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KAGAI MILDRED IBOSHE
I was born in 1998 on 7th of July. My
mother was only eighteen years old and out of school. She was not married. My
grandmother named me after her mother, Kagai. My full name became Mildred
Kagai. My grandmother received me happily as a gift from God. My mother’s
problem posed some problems. The question was, who then was my dad?
My mother had
earlier informed her boyfriend of her predicament, when she got pregnant. As you can guess his
response was denial and escape! She was getting him in a very big problem. His
exit left mum in a fix. However, my grandmother went ahead and accepted me.
After a few days, my hair was shaved according to our traditions. A new born
member to our tribe, hair must be shaved off, soon after birth by a paternal
grandmother.
I was my grandmother’s first grandchild and so she had to celebrate
my birth, even if I didn’t have a father to talk of. My mother was disappointed
by being left by her love. When she got over it she didn’t want anything to do with
my father who was in his early twenties age. She didn't visit nor communicated
with him or his parents. When his parents saw this, they started
convincing her not to be angry but she very
bitter. Nothing they could do to make her like them or their son again. They
wanted her to get married to my father.
My
grandmother tried to negotiate with them and with my mother but to no avail.
She was asked to give out the child but she refused. When I was one year old
she was able to leave me with my grandmother, to go and see her friends again.
Her life had to go on. The way to go on was either to find a job or a good man,
as she said. She tried to work for people in the village. She worked hard and
tried to save some shillings. After a year or so of doing this, she met an old
friend who had come from Kisumu city. Her friend took her to Kisumu to look for
a job. She stayed with her friend for some time before getting a job. She
later, got a job of selling sodas to shops and kiosks’ owners at wholesale
price. This was a tough job at 20 years age.
I think it was while in Kisumu that she learnt a
lot about life. She grew up as she told me she made many friends. I didn’t join
school at the right age, because it was far away. My grandmother could not take
me there, and come for me every day. That way it was too much work for her. The
first time I joined school I was 7 years old and able to walk to school and back on my own. My mother visited us
once a month. She seemed better and better every time she came. She bought for
me books, pens, a bag and shoes. I was happy but I missed my parents. At first
I thought my grandparents were my parents until my mother explained. Then I
thought about my father. That was a forbidden topic.
My grandmother
represented my parents in school
meetings. My friends in school teased me and laughed at me because I did not
have a father. The called me "mkosa baba” meaning fatherless. It hurt but
eventually I got used to it. Actually I was not alone. I just don’t know why I
had to be laughed at. There were orphans and children from broken homes.
One day, my
mother left home for work in Kisumu only to disappear for a whole year. My
grandmother asked several friends and was told she had suddenly left her job
and followed a friend to Nairobi. We just waited for any news from her.
Finally, she called my grandfather and
said she would come to visit us. She said she was married. We all looked
forward to seeing her. When she came, she looked happy and was well dressed.
She took me to Nairobi and put me in a school. My step-dad was nice to me and
did everything for me. Together they
have got two daughters and a little boy. Twelve years, ten years, and two years
respectively. Two years ago my mother decided to change my school to Hamomi
children centre. My old school did not perform well.
Thank you.
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